DAY 118

I woke up more tired than when i went to bed. My mind was just drained, and without sounding too dramatic, I honestly felt like half the person I was two days ago. Every time I smiled I felt like I was being fake and disingenuous, my smile just wasn't coming from a real place anymore, and that more than anything made me sad. My friend Margaux, was also leaving this morning, and I just felt lost without her. These last two days have been full of turmoil and I've feared that I would lose some of my closest bestest friends more than once. There are few things in this world that I value more than my friends, and losing them over petty insignificant things which won't mean shit in a few years would truly break my heart and soul. I wouldn't be able to handle losing any more friends especially these friends who are oh so special to me. But one incredible thing from these past few days, is that it has brought me so much closer to Margaux and Bonny. They have been steadfast through this entire emotional roller coaster and have provided sound and sage advice and kept me level headed when I felt like I'd throw up and cry from nausea all at once. They've hugged me, wiped away my tears, and made me laugh and I will never ever forget it or be able to repay them for the friendship they've gifted me. 


So before Margaux left on her 10 hour drive home to Melbourne, she dropped me off at my family friends place. And I then spent the rest of the day eating rice, bread, and dried figs. I also played for awhile on their piano (which I haven't done in weeks and weeks), bonded with their super quiet and kind 13 year old daughter. But mainly I was hunting for a long term accommodation that I could rent for 3 months in East Adelaide. At first I was looking on all the typical sites like gumtree, etc... but then Nicole (my family friend) told me about this Chinese site I could use, and within minutes of going on it, we were finding dozens of listings that fit what I wanted. Eventually we found an ad that was just posted about 30 mintues ago, and after calling them they told us to come by in an hour to check the place out. When we got there, I realized that this place was new and fricken beautiful. It was modern, simple, clean, spacious, with great lighting and very open. It was also being rented out by a kind young chinese couple, who seemed honest and responsible. The price was also crazy affordable for the location and the space, and the couple mostly only speak Chinese so I can already tell it's going to help force me to speak and practice my Chinese which is pretty poor at the moment. BUT the best part about it all, is that they have the CUTEST dog. I basically fell in love with everything about this place, and a few hours later, I was already moving in ahah.

I went back, ate a typical chinese dinner of rice, tofu scramble, and veggies, with 5 slices of seeded bread with tahini and bananas and sugar. Then right after eating, I MOVED IN! And after unpacking, having 5 more bowls of cereal with banana, jam, tahini and sugar, I'm sitting at my desk, with all my bags unpacked for the first time since October.

I've always only unpacked things I'd need for the day or next few days, and it feels strange but oh so settling to be putting down roots of a sort even if only for 3 months. But man the notion of having stability and of not moving around for 3 whole months is making me giddy with excitement.