DAY 158

So these last few days have just been exhausting for me, I've just been cycling everyday and pushing myself pretty intensely on my rides. I've been just feeling so fatigued, and not super energized, so when I woke up this morning I was feeling like I'd just go for a short easy spin, but after warming up I started to feel heaps better and ended up going up to Lofty with the crew. Then Joey, riff, Abdullah, Jens, Daniel, and Alex said they were gonna go up to Osmond, so I decided to tag along, and by the end of our ride, I'd done 50 kms and 1000m of elevation, so definitley not just an easy spin. Also, on the ride up Osmond, it was so hot and I was sweating so much that I unzipped my jersey, but because I'm not very confident riding with no hands, I was struggling to zip it back up, and the moment when I finally got the jersey zipped up was like the best feeling lol. I felt like I had just accomplished something so huge, and Griff was there to witness the whole thing lol. I felt like such a pro cyclist, not gonna lie LOL. Anyways, it was just such a fun ride, and so awesome to push myself when I was already feeling so fatigued and not feeling 100%. It's just honestly the best feeling to push yourself past what you think you can handle, and to just prove to yourself what you're truly capable. I feel as if, I have so much more untapped potential in me that I need to unlock, and days like today are definitely amazing for that. Then I came home and had a few bowls of oats, and stretched before going to the shops with Griff. Then we came back and just chilled in my garden eating cereal, and chatting about life and inner dialogue and all that jazz. We talked quite a bit about the general topic of FEAR. We are so fearful in our society, and when we trace back that fear it's usually ridiculous and founded on insecurities or consequences that aren't even that damaging. For example, what is the worst case scenario for most of us living in first world societies if we lose our job? We go on welfare.. and take it from me, welfare really isn't that bad. So in reality this crazy fear and anxiety that society has almost created around jobs and what not really isn't that valid.

Anyways, then Shelby and Tess came over to drop off some rice and blueberries that I'd left at their place, but when they got here They also had this amazing box of produce that they got from the market today, because mummameg insisted that they bring some over for me. Like man how kind are they? I just can't get over how lovely that family is haha. Then it started pissing down rain, and even thunder sporatically, so Griff and I just stayed under the outdoor shelter looking up flights for Gold coast and Thailand. 

Then I finally skyped my mom (for the first time in months) while eating dinner and it was amazing. although I did get frustrated when she told me she still ate meat once in awhile for "balance" I lectured her for awhile before calming down ahahha. Then I began craving ice cream because it was so hot, so I went to coles and bought some mango sorbet and ate the entire tub with cereal sprinkled on top. It was amazing. And now that I've cooled down I'm now ready for bed :)