A Beautiful Mess- On Being Sad
I’ve been feeling sad the last few days, so naturally I thought I’d turn on my mic and chat about with you all ahah. I hope you all enjoy!
If you have any questions send me a message on instagram @happyandhealthy96
And as always, thanks for listening.
This is a piece I wrote on being sad for instagram, thought I’d share it here as well.
I have a naturally sunny, happy disposition, so though I often move through life with a smile, I, like most people experience times of sadness. I’ve been feeling kind of sad the last few days so I just want to chat about it with you all.
Sadness is one of our 6 basic emotions (fear, happiness, surprise, disgust, anger & sadness) & they all serve a valuable purpose both evolutionarily speaking & in our ability to live a meaningful life. Feeling all these emotions is a natural part of life & being human.
The etymology of the word emotions comes from the latin term EMOVERE which means moving or movement. And it’s such a great way of understanding our emotions as dynamic & in flux. They come & go like waves, so holding onto one particular emotion or trying to avoid another is futile.
We’ve been taught by society that certain emotions are better than others & that we should try to avoid the “negative” emotions. But in doing so we rob ourselves of a beautiful part of life. The contrasts & polarities that exist are what give this life greater meaning. Our times of sadness are what give our joy more richness & depth, our experience of unease give our moments of peace that much more magic.
In Buddhist philosophy life is suffering & it’s Inevitable that we feel pain, get hurt, rejected, experience loss, heartache etc. And looming over us constantly is this existential angst of understanding the meaning of life & why we’re here. But though it’s tempting to want to close ourselves off from feeling pain, there’s no selective numbing that allows us to only choose certain emotions. when we numb ourselves to pain, sadness, suffering, We end up losing touch with our ability to truly feel joy, love & wonder.
The greatest purpose these different emotions have served in my life is that they bring more colour, shape, texture, & meaning to my experience of life. They give context & provide a greater understanding for mine & other peoples feelings. And when we can let ourselves surrender to what we’re feeling in an honest manner, let that emotion move through us, and allow ourselves to feel without needing to justify our necessarily understand why - it can be like a wave, that reaches its peak, then washes over us- eventually dissolves into the sand. Leaving us open to learning from it, growing, & feeling grounded & balanced within ourselves.
In the case of sadness, I personally think it motivates us to take stock and reflect on our lives, and oftentimes move forward with renewed goals, clarified direction and better understanding of ourselves and what matters to us. Sadness communicate to me what I’ve been neglecting, what I really love and helps me prioritize what will bring me fulfillment. And by understanding and accepting our internal experience of sadness, we are validating ourselves. This self-validation is almost like a huge sigh of relief to me. It helps me feel accepted by myself (we are often our harshest critics) and that I’m fine just the way I am, and not in need of being “fixed.” It helps me feel at peace with knowing that I’m exactly where I need to be, and that everything is- eventually- going to be okay.