Cheers to being a clueless human being, just like me.

I am utterly clueless. But aren’t we all, in the face of the universe, aren’t we all bewildered lost souls just searching for meaning and searching for happiness in this short existence we call life. We may try to put on a façade of being sure of ourselves but in the end, none of us really know anything for sure. How was the universe created? Why are we here? What is the meaning of life? I mean... WHAT EVEN IS LIFE?! And of course on a more individualized level, we’re also pretty clueless. For example, I’ve made many decisions in my life, and every time I’ve made them I’ve been unsure of whether they’re the right decision or where these decisions will bring me, but that’s part of the beauty and magic of life. And although I’ve been unsure I’ve always FELT intuitively that it was the right decision to make. Every right or wrong decision has led me here and I’m pretty darn happy being the person I am today. My life right now has been full of pretty big definitive decisions that I’ve been unsure about. I’ve decided to defer university, to spend my savings on travel, to chase my very abstract notion of happiness. So in other words, I’ve decided to live a life with no set plan or structure and to be honest, it scares the shit out of me. At least when I was in business school, I knew that it was leading to a certain end goal, and although that wasn’t necessarily a future I desired I still felt a sense of comfort and ease knowing that some parts of my life would be accounted for and taken care of. Now nothing in my life is certain, I have no idea what part of this planet I’ll be in, in a few months, no idea what I’ll be doing, who I’ll be with, etc.. And I’m starting to be okay with that, and be excited by that. But in no way am I sure of myself or this path, I just know that I FEEL like this is what I need to do at this point in my life. Who knows, maybe in a few years I’ll want more structure, and want to return to school, but I just know that right now, I’ll never be as young as I am right now, I have nothing tying me down, I have savings, and I CRAVE ADVENTURE. It just feels so wrong to stifle that craving and force myself to return to an institutionalized education system. I truly don't think I can do that to myself, that is why I’ve made the decisions that I’ve made. I’m not making a blanket statement that University is bad, or that everyone should travel, or even that I’ll never go back to school. But, RIGHT NOW this is how I feel. So I’m trusting my intuition and going with it, I’m definitely scared, and worry about what I’ll do when I run out of money, but I just trust that if I open my heart to all possibilities that life offer, and trust in the guiding force of my happiness, that I will figure it out! So Cheers to that! Cheers to not knowing, Cheers to being clueless, and Cheers to being happy.