we often push people we love away from us, not because we want them to give away, but because we want to test whether they'll keep their hold. There was a time when I did exactly this. I would keep everyone who cared about me at an arms distance, not letting myself be vulnerable and not accept their love. I think part of this stemmed from my belief that I didn't deserve or need it, but when I began to forgive myself for my mistakes I became ready and willing to accept myself and the love of others. The people that were meant to be in my life kept their hold on me throughout my journey and despite all my missteps. They remained steadfast even when I didn't want their help and pushed them away. Because they kept their hold on me, I will never let go of them.