I choose life.

One of my friends asked me why I'm so emotional, why I cry so often and feel so deeply. "Just try to turn your emotions off, stop being so sensitive" he says. "That way maybe you won't get hurt so often."

Now I know he meant well, but asking why I cry so often...

Well you might as well ask me why I laugh and smile and jump for joy so often. 

Because you see... for me to not feel everything I wouldn't be me. I am sensitive. I'm not afraid to admit that I am sensitive as heck, and I remember and internalize more than is good for me, I know that, i do. but telling me to let that part of me go would be akin to telling me to cut off an arm. This is who I am at my soul and spirit. I am an empath, intuitive and deeply sensitive. The reason I cry so easily and hurt so much is the same reason I laugh so heartily and love so deeply. My joy can be as bright as the sun but my pain can also be as deep as the sea.

 

You see, a life without laughter, love, cake or joy just wouldn't be worth living to me.

But a life without tears, despair or heartbreak would make those moments of joy empty.

I would rather live my life with my heart open to all the intense emotions of being alive than closing myself off to a numb life of mediocrity.

When I cry it reminds me of the humbling immense struggle it is to live a life of meaning, and how that struggle unites us.

And when I laugh, the joy in my heart soars out of my soul to dance among the stars.

I feel it all, for better or for worse because I have no other option. 

For joy would not exist without sadness, and sadness would have no worth without joy.

And so, I can either choose a pain free life of quiet numb desperation

Or I can choose a thrilling pain filled life full of fierce feeling wonder.

So for better or for worse l choose wonder, I choose to feel the good, bad, funny and sad.

I choose to feel the fear, doubt and uncertainty that can sometimes feel crippling and suffocating.

I choose the daring magical adventure of living a vulnerable, messy, human life.

I choose despair, I choose joy, and I choose love. I choose to feel it all,

because I choose life.